29 Years More

Mother's Day is almost here. As in, tomorrow. And this year I have a new sense of it all. This is my first Mother's Day as a mommy.

Last year I was 5 months pregnant and my Mr. went out and got my oil changed in my car. Before you raise your eyebrows at that, you should also know that he got me the sweetest Willow Tree Figurine ever and it still melts my heart when I look at it. Why? Because I'm a ridiculous, sentimental mushball it was such a thoughtful gift. And because when I received it, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. We were so excited about having our sweet boy, but we had no clue what color his eyes would be, or if he'd be a good sleeper, or if he would be bald (or have insane hair like he really does). We didn't know if he would have a loud cry or a soft one. If he would have an innie or an outie. Actually, the only thing we really knew at this point was that we were having a boy and his name would be "William Hudson." Now looking back, it's crazy how much has changed in one year. This time last year I couldn't fathom what he would be like. And this year? Well, I honestly can't imagine a single moment of my life without him being exactly the way he is. What a difference a year makes, huh?

So all of this got me thinking about my own Mama. She is wonderful. Really wonderful. She is my best friend. We match on purpose, love the same toenail polish colors, and sing together in the car. Don't judge us. We can say one word on the phone and know exactly what the other is thinking. When I'm stressed, she always know the cure for calming my crazy self down. When I'm sick or just really upset I turn into a total 3  year old with her and cry my eyes out. I seriously can't help it. It's really weird.

We find the same things funny. Like super funny. We will laugh until we can't breathe and people around us look at us like we are nuts. And guess what. We don't care. Not. One. Bit.

Her nickname for me is "Lucy." Why? Who knows. She doesn't, really, either. I've loved it my whole life. She sings "Que Sera, Sera" to me when I freak out about the future or anything unknown. She is my cheerleader.


But one of my favorite things? My whole life she has always said to me, "I love you 29 years more." She had just turned 29 when she had me and said that she had already loved me her whole life before I even got here. Sometimes she'd say "I love you," and I'd say, "Love you more!" She'd just smile and shake her head. "29 years more." On birthday cards she would draw 29 hearts, or put 29 stickers inside of them. She wouldn't even have to write it, and I wouldn't even have to count. I knew what she meant. Or at least I thought I did.

Then enters this kid. 

I learned how to be a mommy from my wonderful Mama, but this is the guy who turned me into one. The moment I looked at him, I knew I had already loved him for my whole life, even before he was one minute old. There is no way to explain what becoming a mommy feels like. It's like they've been there forever and they just walked into your life all at the same time.

I call him "Bug." Why? Who knows. I sure don't. He actually responds better to "Bug" than to "Will." I'm pretty sure he'll like that nickname when he's older, too.

And on every single birthday card of his I'll say "I love you 24 years more." And I'll fill it with 24 hearts and 24 stickers. And he will know exactly what I'm saying.

Happy Mother's Day,
Maggie